There is an issue that I encounter just about daily when interacting with people in my professional and personal life: financial insecurity. It doesn’t matter if you are job hunting, living paycheck-to-paycheck, or if you have a portfolio that could cause the Kardashians to covet, financial concerns are a common squeeze. If you are looking for some mental and emotional relief without taking out a loan, do this:
3 things you can do to counter-balance financial fear:
“Beware of the naked man who offers you his shirt.” – Navjot Singh Sidhu
- Be Selective in Sharing Your Vulnerability
First on the list, because it is most important: Steer clear of anyone who has the potential to magnify the negativity of your situation, this will heighten the fear in your mind.
Subjective input is helpful if your friend can separate your experience from their own, but input from someone who is speaking from the place of their own unresolved issues will be laced with toxic biases that will poison any amount of hope you are holding. Taking your concerns to someone who will offer objective feedback is key.
Don’t be afraid to end the conversation politely and seek a compassionate elsewhere. If you sense your friend is personalizing your issue, or casting judgment on your feelings and criticizing your plan of action, excuse yourself quickly and find a more positive source of support, preferably someone who has tackled your issue successfully.
“Speech is the mirror of the mind” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca, Roman Stoic Philosopher
- Monitor Your Speech.
If yuck is coming out of your mouth, it’s reinforcing the yuck that already exists in your head. Have you ever had that “Ew” reaction when someone vomited their negative mind in the same room as you, or into their cell phone, or worst of all: onto YOU? If you know what the energy feels like, you’re halfway there to recognizing your own negative vomiting habits.
This takes practice before we can see it in ourselves, of course, but here is an example of a popular sentence that people vomit, followed by a cleaned-up version.
Repeat each of these several times. Say them out loud and try your best to tap into the sincere emotion of each statement. It won’t be long before you begin to feel, from within yourself, your energy that comes from your speech. I have hundreds of these, so be sure to subscribe and follow.
a.). “My car is a piece of shit. I need a new car, but I’m broke.”
b.). “I need a new car and… I know I’ll get one when the time is right.”
First of all, promise me right now that you will never let the words “I’m broke” come out of your mouth ever again. Don’t put that out in the Universe!
When you catch yourself in a negative speech pattern, stop talking, delete it mentally (DELETE-DELETE-DELETE), or even out loud, and then restate your thoughts using a cleaned-up version of whatever it was you meant to say. Practice is everything.
“To control the mind by force is to put a viper in a basket” – Maharaj Charan Singh
- Cheerfully Monitor Your Thoughts
There are many schools of thought that subscribe to what can be called “watching your thoughts”, without labeling them good, or bad, or stupid, or weak, or lame, or being something, or not being that thing (it’s just exhausting, isn’t it?). Try noticing what you’re thinking without judging why, and when you notice a process that is unproductive, say out loud, but in a neutral tone: “There it is again, but I’m ok” or “There I go again, but I’ll work on that.” or “I’m starting over…now.” Learning how to do this sets a great foundation for the other skills that follow.
You’ll have to practice this and see what comes up for you when you catch yourself shaking a bony finger at your thinking. Beware of shame. It’s the most toxic substance, ever.
The quote above this entry is particularly interesting. I have yet to try putting a viper in a basket, so I can’t speak from personal experience with this one. I’ve refrained from searching YouTube, but we can probably conclude that a viper is a big ass snake that must be terribly difficult to catch, let alone confine! Seems to me that trying to shove that thing in a basket would only piss it off. Well, I guess it makes sense (the quote) because that’s what it feels like to me when I judge my thoughts and then judge myself for having the thoughts that I’ve just judged, and then judge myself for judging. (Geez!) It makes it worse and it makes me really, really angry. You? Ok, so try to stop doing that.
Even if you catch yourself and say these phrases a gazillion times, it’s the recurring “catching it” that forms the better thinking habit. When you have the habit down, you can then counter-balance the negativity with a positive affirmation like the one below.
Here is a great affirmation that my dear friend, Valerie, and I are saying as we walk together through some financial “unknowns”:
“The long arm of God reaches over people and circumstances. All of my interests are protected.”
As always, I’m here if you need me.